The rooster and the popsicle

Five years ago I was sitting on a friend's porch. We were grilling up some hot dogs, drinking some beers, shooting the shit. A very nondescript day. My friend lived on the third story of an apartment building in Chicago. The porch on this apartment faced into an alley and it was easy to see the porches of several other apartment buildings nearby. It was a nice summery day and we weren't the only ones with the bright idea to grill. In the alley there were maybe 2 or 3 cars parked, a few dumpsters, and not much else. Nevertheless we're just sitting around staring into the alley. It was during such a lull that this rooster walked across the alley.

This is weird because; A) Normally one does not see roosters in Chicago and B) This rooster was walking with a purpose. I have limited experience around farm animals but from what I know chickens are a meandering animal. They just peck and move, peck and move. But this one was walking very determidly across the alley. The rooster was 3/4 of the way across our view before anyone said anything and when one of my friends did, the rest of us chimed in that yeah, I think it is a rooster.

It was then that someone on one of the other porches started telling his friends about the rooster and soon enough there were at least three groups of people pointing at this rooster laughing with other groups. Some asshole threw a beer can at the rooster, but the rooster was already out of view. Our collective commotion died down and we got back to our sitting.

20 minutes later, the rooster reappeared crossing back across the alley. It was moving with a purpose again, but this time it was slower because it held something in its mouth. What it held was a popsicle! In his beak?! There was a rooster carrying a popsicle in its mouth walking across this alley. We couldn't believe what we were seeing and soon the various porches were up again, laughing and pointing. It was this bizaare shared moment with all these strangers as we watched this unbelievable event. In the apartment across from us and down on the second floor this one guy climbed over the railing, slid down to the ground and started towards the rooster . The rooster seeing that his path was blocked seemed to panic, veering to the right, briefly, and then back to the left. They guy picked up his chase, cornering the rooster by some of those big trash bins.

What happened next was so shocking that all of us that were there have trouble believing it. When the rooster got cornered it suddenly got really calm and turned around to face the guy. Here is the face off... man vs rooster. I think the guy was a little surprised and halted for the stare down. The guy then proceeded to inch closer to the rooster, who was just sitting there with a popsicle in his mouth. When he was about 2 feet away, he bent down and reached out his hand. I think every porch was riveted on this exchange but no one spoke, it was like watching a silent movie. The guy held his hand outstretched for close to a minute before the rooster took a step towards him and dropped the popsicle into his hand. It was unbelievable. the guy stared at the popsicle in his hand and then turned around (still kneeling) to his friends with the most amazed look on his face. Then, when he turned back around, the rooster flew up and attacked the man right in the face. All of the sudden the guy is screaming and this rooster is flapping his wings wildly and make some horrific noise. The guy is try to bat away the rooster but it doesn't work. None of us move or speak. A few of the guy's friends begin to climb down the porch but its too late. The rooster is now pecking at the guy's face, and he collapses on the ground. The rooster continues to attack, clawing and pecking at this guy's face. There are now people screaming from the various porches.

Two of the guy's friends run at the guy writhing on the ground when the rooster flies up from him and attacks one of the other guys. Its the same horrible sight repeated. The wildly flapping wings and the screaming. the other guy went to the guy who was attacked first and started dragging him behind the dumpster like he was saving him from enemy fire in a war zone. From our porch I couldn't see what had happened but I did see a lot of blood. With his friend out of harms way he then ran back to his other friend who had also now collapsed on the ground with the rooster, tearing him apart. Again the rooster flew up, again, and now started attacking the third man. We had no idea what to do, we just stood there, stunned watching this massacre unfold.

Before long the third guy was on his knees, arms over his neck curled up. The rooster then stopped flapping its wings and sat there, perched on his head for a few moments. When a silence fell over the alley once again, the rooster hopped off the man's head, walked over to the popsicle and picked it up. At this point he stopped again, and seemed to scope out the rest of the alley. Everyone was quiet. Finally, just as before, the rooster walked off, purposefully out of the alley. We have no idea where he went.